Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
