There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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