I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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