let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
