his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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