My liver just broke up with me...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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