at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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