Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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