i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
