It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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