I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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