my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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