well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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