I can feel you judging me through the phone.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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