so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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