I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
