physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
