The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
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you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
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Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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