Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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