Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize