Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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