I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
