He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
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I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
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your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.