Texts From Last Night

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  (806): View more from Texas

  Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.

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  (806): Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one. http://tfl.nu/nt34
  Replies (4) Good night (3186) Bad night (1049)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.

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  (630): Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me. http://tfl.nu/4ss8
  Replies (18) Good night (7293) Bad night (2065)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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  (915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la
  Replies (17) Good night (6697) Bad night (1940)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.

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  (360): She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/qt2q
  Replies (19) Good night (4823) Bad night (1065)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie

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  (253): she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie http://tfl.nu/dtyw
  Replies (11) Good night (1026) Bad night (3369)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.

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  (815): im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again. http://tfl.nu/iwek
  Replies (31) Good night (4452) Bad night (1295)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.

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  (304): My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point. http://tfl.nu/bf1e
  Replies (6) Good night (610) Bad night (1242)
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  (714): View more from California

  Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.

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  (714): Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious. http://tfl.nu/8gkr
  Replies (5) Good night (1985) Bad night (571)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.

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  (570): I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club. http://tfl.nu/5u2s
  Replies (13) Good night (1608) Bad night (1214)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2398) Bad night (710)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats

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  (704): sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats http://tfl.nu/2wgg
  Replies (7) Good night (836) Bad night (1665)
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  (596): View more from

  Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.

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  (596): Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop. http://tfl.nu/tzap
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.

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  (504): It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection. http://tfl.nu/5s3v
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (638)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."

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  (701): When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough." http://tfl.nu/8x3m
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (307)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform

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  (617): I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform http://tfl.nu/1f1f
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (274)

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