So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?