So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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