We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I need moral support for this bender
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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