so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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