people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
