you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
