hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
