if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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