Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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