Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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