I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
