If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
