Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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