Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
accomplished twins. life is a go
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
