i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
