Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
