smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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