There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize