How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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