There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What a dumb baby whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize