yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
