2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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