I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
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