we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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