Are we in a gay sports bar?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
