drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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