I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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