My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
