god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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