Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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