that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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