Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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