just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
