Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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